They wrote it

Call me Hairy

Past back-page contest entrants showcase their talent.



Wince-making dedication

To my late wife without whose unfailing stimulus and example this novel of infidelity and retribution could never have been written.

Christine Johnston



Haiku on an unwanted Christmas present

Toy sings silent Night

Everlasting battery

No heavenly sleep

Sue Wooton



Text message of a novel plot

#1 has hype sales tennis backhand celeb real estate smug attitude wouldn’t y #2 thinks 2 much has writers block envy frenzy reads vanity manuscript babe wife in reserve saves grace till finds #2****ing same all along

Miro Bilbrough (The Information, Martin Amis)



Fictional personal ads

Mature academic, thermotically challenged, dilapidated in parts supported by historic place trusses, seeks soul mate to fiercely discuss Frame around the fire, to honour Hotere by the Harbour and to canoodle clandestinely at chilly Carisbrook tests. Reply Don Eden.

Joe Baker



Over-used literary image (foxy, female) desires metaphor of her dreams. If you can hack it, darling, sharpen your edge now.

Barbara Else



Hairy Maclary immortalised by another author

Maclary stood motionless by the dairy gate, his dark springy being alert to the strange rich night. He sensed the others coming long before he could see their sinewy bodies. Morse’s blind brown bulk repulsed him. Wordlessly, he felt himself drawn to the fine-boned Maloney, pressing into his animal warmth.

Dogs in Love by D H Lawrence aka Anne Else



Call me Hairy. Some moments since, lacking dog roll in my stomach and having nothing but water in my bowl, I thought to sniff about a little and visit the butcher-ly part of the town.

Herman Melville aka Barbara Else 





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